Happy Mother's Day

Happy mothers day

How many of you make your bed everyday? Me, I'm luck to make it once a week, really once a month. But when I do I feel so good. Walking past the room makes me think how clean it looks. Getting into a made bed makes me think of hotel rooms with clean fresh sheets. And I hope someone else will notice. But tonight as I climbed into bed, still appreciating my handiwork, I realize no ones gonna notice. All 3 boys are asleep. Darrell has already messed up his side as he snores on. Maggie, who might have noticed, is away on an overnight GS trip. And I feel slightly robbed. Like a kid who's brushed her teeth but didn't get the gold star for the chore chart.

Which reminded me of something my mom said to me a few years back. Everything was difficult. Darrell was gone every night on the late shift. I was forced to cook almost every meal. I was constantly cleaning up something, cooking something, doing laundry, picking up toys, vacuuming endless hairballs from the dogs, and no one noticed. No one offered me a gold star, a pay check, or even a thank you, gee the house looks great. It was depressing. I was depressed. I called mom one day after coming to see a whole new meaning of the phrase target practice with Gabe toilet training. And someone was sick, maybe a dog. Anyway, I was fried and mom suggested I write down my accomplishments each day. Things I wanted people to have noticed. Or maybe even that I'd wiped down the bathroom 5 times that day. So I did. I diet show anyone it. But I saw it and my mental gold star was brightly shining on that chart.

I hope you moms get a gold star today and if not,

Know that I'm sending one your way! Happy mothers day!

Its a tree fort.

So we promised the kids a tree fort if we got rid of the swingset. And we got rid of the swing set. So...that meant we'd better get our butts in gear and get it done. But Darrell and I aren't always the best at working together. It was a bit of a dread to both of us. But as luck would have it, Darrell's cousin Brennan was on his way to Seattle and asked to stop in. Not only did he get to watch the kids in Wizard of Oz, but he helped Darrell rip out his tree stand and rebuild it onto our tree. Here's how it began.


Boys being boys...they decided the floor boards would be put to better use as ramps for skateboards and things. It lasted for only a while.


Then the floor boards started going up and the kids started to decide they were going to climb. Darrell hung a tree climber on the tree and up they went. Here Maggie was "helping" Brennan with something like maybe handing down his water.



Darrell then added the "trusses/tresses" I forget what they're called. I'd call 'em cross braces. This really solidified the frame and started making it look more like a tree house and less like a floating floor.


Then when all this was looking good, the play was starting and the boys needed to shower while the kids and I scurried to get their costumes and makeup on. Brennan had to leave the next morning but he promised breakfast in the fort before heading out. Here are those shots.

This meant Darrell and I would have to do a few things ourselves. Could we do it? Oh sure we could. And do it we did (Get your minds outta the gutter folks!!) Tuesday morning after the kids got to school (and I got outta bed) we packed up and went to home depot. We got our 4x4 and 1x1 railing pieces and then found these cool post caps that are solar lights. Awesomeness!!!



It did take us two days to get the railings done, but they're done and now the kids can use it almost safetly. There are a few small things we've yet to do, but for now, its awesome fun!!

My spinning wheel adventures

I wanted to let people see what I'm doing with the wheel and I think this is going to be the best avenue for that. I brought the wheel home from my mom's house this Sunday. It's beautiful and I'm so glad to have it.

There was a part broken, but luckily Darrell was able to glue it together and it is holding for now.

My grandfather made it the same year I was born. So technically it isn't an antique (right??), but it isn't a new fangled expensive one either.


But I don't know the first thing about wheels or spinning. But thankfully Tracy volunteered to help me out learning all there is to know about these things. She came today and we fiddled a bit with it.

Here's a bit of spun wool on it. But when we were spinning, me first to no great result, and Tracy second to no really fabulous result either. We decided that the wood was so dry and needed some hydration. Tracy was totally impressed with the craftsmanship, but there were a few things that just weren't working as well as she was sure worked really well when it was made. There were little things that really made her excited. Like these removeable pieces that hold the wheel in place.

So she told me all the things I needed to do to get it cleaned and shiny and hydrated.
So I'm taking it apart and washing it all down with Murphy's Oil Soap. Tomorrow I will be applying the first coat of Boiled Linseed Oil. Then I'm going to put it back together and see how well it's spinning.

I filed the inside of the spools so they fit better on the wheel thingy. And I filed and steel wooled the rust off the metal pieces. I can't wait for it all to be finished.

I'm gonna have to learn the technical terms soon. I'm still refering to things as the THINGYs all the time!

Again I'm taking a cue from Kate and linking my blog to twitter and Facebook. Hopefully this will motivate me to post more often.  The snow fell and has allowed the kids to be home for 3 days in a row. Hopefully we all survive tomorrow and they'll be allowed to return Friday. Our neighbor plowed more snow onto our hill so that allowed a bit of a deprive to our day. I didn't do any of the baking I had hoped to do. Maybe tomorrow. I did get baking done.  Now to finish up my stinking socks. I don't know why any sane person knits socks more than once. Argh!!!!

Trying this again. Thanks Kate for helping me figure this out. I wasn't sure what I was looking for or even where to look. Maybe know I will post a bit more frequently having the ability to do it from my phone. What did we do before smart phones again?? Here's how cute Maggie looks in her dress. Someone suggested I make vests with the same pattern for the boys. Now I'm rethinking the shirts and leaning more toward the vests. Hmm…

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knitting away

Wow its been a long time since I last blogged. Mostly because I'm using my phone for all my internet instead of sitting at my big computer. But also because I'm spending so much time knitting. I have totally lost myself in the wild world of wool and I don't know that I ever want to return. Its so amazing to see a picture of something, find the pattern, start knitting and then end up with the final project. I'm going to start a hat next for myself and I'm so excited about it.
I've just finished up a dress for maggie.

Next I'm going to be knitting this shirt for the boys to wear on Easter.

I hope to do a better job of posting things now. I've got to figure out an efficient way to do it on the iPhone!!

Momology-My Book Review...I think

So a bit ago I was contacted by MOPS to review a book on my blog and I was so excited. A free book? That they want me to review? Awesome right? Well, sort of. This book Momology A Mom's Guide to Shaping Great Kids is an amazingly insightful book. So why am I not sure I should call it amazing. You'll laugh.

Since I started knitting in February, that's what's really consumed my life. And I'm making amazing projects that I can't wait to finish to start the next one. We were going to be going on vacation this past week and I was busily working on the washclothes for a gift. And this book was so engaging, I had a hard time putting it down. And I haven't figured out how to read and knit at the same time. Momology makes you think. It makes you look inside yourself. And with all this self-reflection, I was finding it hard to follow a pattern.

So my advice to you...BEGIN this book, but hold off on the rest of your projects. It's worth your time.

Okay, so now onto the book. It's broken into four big chunks. They are amazing sections that really help you form a plan, a life goal perhaps, for making your life a healthier one to raise healthy kids. And I don't just mean eating well. No, this includes mental health, spiritual health, you name it, there is a piece of advice to improve it! The four parts are Core, Finesse, Circle, and Grandscape. I have to tell you that the first part Core, spoke the most to me. It's the part I have the hardest time addressing myself. So I'll address them all, and maybe more it later posts. But today I most want to focus on the core.

So part one. In the introduction, Shelly Radic wrote a little blurb about each section that I thought was perfect. So I'll include this blurb at the beginning of each section in purple. Knowing who we are: building a healthy, resilient mom CORE. Really doesn't that say it all? Knowing who we are is really the only way that we can help our kids become themselves. Confidence is a really important thing that I want my kids to learn. That's the best way to survive in this overly competetive life we live. And if my own confidence is lacking, how can I help build theirs? It seems the worse my confidence is, the faster I am to try to pull down everyone around me right down to the depths of despair with me. One of the definitions of core Shelly has given is (noun): a mom's unique, inner self, including her temperament, life experiences, emotions, passions, and potential. Wow! That seems a daunting task to improve upon right? It was hard enough trying to keep these things through high school. Am I sure I can really dig deep enough to find out how to improve them now...like temperament? Really, have you met me? Emotions, mine are always outta control. Passions? Do I even have Passions anymore? But after reading this section I found it wasn't as hard as I've always thought to "Find Myself Again". And let me tell you, it was great to meet myself again. It had been a long time since I'd really been in touch with my inner self. I push her away so willingly when things get tough. But I'm actually the one I should be talking with the most in those really tough situations!

Resilience has been identified as one of five factors known to reduce child abuse and neglect. (child welfare packet Promoting Healthy Families in Your Communities) According to the US Dept of Health and Human Services, resilient parents and children are likely to feel that
1. they are important and valuable to all that support and care about them
2. no matter how bad life gets, they can feel good
3. they understand there is more to life than just them and now.

I like to think of myself as a really resilient person. I don't mind change. I know I'll survive. But I find that it takes a lot of steps for me to convince myself that all will be well. And I tend not to do it all that quietly. So perhaps I need to do things a bit more gracefully. And wouldn't you know it, Ms Radic provided four exercises for building resilience.
1. Incorporate at least one stress management technique (exercise, listening to relaxing music, or journaling) into your daily life
2. Make a plan for crises BEFORE you need one. What life circumstances do you fear most? Create a list of resources to use if this happens.
3. Reduce stressors. Make a list of things that regularly cause stress in your life. Select one and find a way to reduce its impact.
4. Learn to ask for help, for answers, for advice. Write down what needs to be said and practice saying it in front of your mirror. Learn to ask yourself: what do I truly need?

Funny that many of these suggestions were made during Darrell and my marriage counselling. That no matter What issue you are trying to fix, the steps are all the same. Why aren't we all doing something from this list of 4 things every day? They aren't hard. And I haven't even done it successfully since reading this section. But just having a game plan seems to help me. Dear Abby once wrote "Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you will become." Enough said.

Another part of this Core is mental health. And let me tell you that's a touchy subject for me. I have always dealt with depression, but it wasn't ever talked about it my family. Although I think many had the same battles that I have with it. So why aren't we trying to help each other. And recently, we found out my oldest is struggling with depression. At 9 yrs, it's a tough thing to deal with. He hasn't had enough time to really pull from self experiences to know he'll bounce back. He hasn't really built up enough confidence in himself to know that if he's really sucking it up in one aspect of his life, he can fall back on his strengths to boost up his self worth. So it falls on my shoulders as his mom. Let me tell you, it is no easy task. Depression is difficult at best. It's hard and raw and frustrating. The person struggling with it seems so unreasonably upset to those on the outside so it's really difficult to be empathetic. And when your own cup is only half full, sometimes it feels as though there isn't enough to give.

Did you know that 20 to 25% of women experience depression? Me either! That's 1 in every 4 or 5 women. That's crazy! Depression has been called the most significant mental health risk for women, especially women of childbearing and child rearing age. (well no duh! Hormones Suck!!! They are crazy and get worse I swear when you lack sleep.) Postpartum depression, PMS, perimenopause, winter depression, and biochemical imbalances are some of the most common forms of depression mothers experience.

Here's another scary fact: The longer depression is left untreated, the more likely it is that her child will experience some form of depression. So here is where I keep adding on to my list of faults. Did I cause Arlington's depression? Well, even if it was just biological, I know it was mostly me. So now there are two factors from me contributing to Arlington's depression. And I'm still battling with depression. But then I remind myself that I am aware of my issues. I ask for help when I can find a sympathetic ear or shoulder. I have an amazing support system of family, friends, community. Arlington is a brilliant kid and so many of the adults he interacts with see that in him and can "forgive his faults" to monopolize on all his strengths. Everything that I could do to help him out, I am doing. Even if it isn't always from ME, he's getting it from those he can trust. And isn't that what we are supposed to do as moms? Teach our kids that it isn't always MOM who will help them? That they need to learn from everyone around us?

Kelley, a mom of one was quoted in this book and it really got me thinking. "In many ways our culture encourages mom disconnect-we drive our own cars, cook in our own kitchens, do laundry in our own laundry rooms, and sit in our private homes raising our kids alone. We must find ways to connect and mother together-co-cook, carpool to the grocery store, take turns doing laundry at one house, and join a mom group." I laugh at some of the ideas, like I can't imagine inviting moms to my house to see my laundry piled up to the ceiling of my basement and covering half of the floor in that room. But maybe if I knew once a month people would come here and once a week I'd go somewhere else, I wouldn't struggle so much keeping up with my laundry. Joan, my neighbor and close friend, and I have always dreamed about starting a once a month cooking group where we bring ingredients for 20-30 meals that can be made ahead of time and would make dinner times so much smoother. We just haven't really invested the time to getting it going. But I think Kelley makes a good point. All those things we do by ourselves, they used to do together before all this technology. And I think that's what makes the past so romantic to moms. Seeing all those families playing together in the community while the moms sit together cooking, doing dishes, or folding laundry. I like that idea. And I hope my enthusiasm will rub off on some in my MOPS group and we can get a little bit of the past brought back into our community. Maybe I'll hold off on the laundry though for now.

Something we'd discussed often in our MOPS group are our strengths vs. our weaknesses. I think often times they can be the same things, but its just how we go about viewing them. My depression is a constant battle. But I think sometimes it makes me a bit more empathetic. It also doesn't let me feel sorry for slackers. Stop blaming the world and others, face your issues and move on. Now, as long as I keep that statement a bit more positive, it can really help others find their own inner strength and move on. Shelly Radic talks about this and names it "self-talk". Her examples are perfect so I'll list a few. "I'm so controlling, that's why bedtime around here is such a misery." but what she realized she should be saying is this "My need to have things under control helped us find a better bedtime routine." Interesting isn't it? It's the same thing. Just one has a negative vibe while the other she spun positively. Wouldn't it be nice if we had something in our brain that could self edit. So we might think the negative, but it instantly translated into the positive. Hmm...that would be nice. But since I don't see that happening anytime soon, we should probably rely on what Shelly mentioned she'd learned to improve our SELF-TALK
1. Working from my strengths is more effective and positive than working from my weaknesses.
2. Weaknesses are mostly the flip side of strengths.

While being aware of and managing our weaknesses is good, constantly focusing on them is harmful for our self-perception and ruins God's purposefully and wonderfully designed image we should have of ourselves. Benjamin Franklin said "Hide not your talents. They for use were made. What use is a sundial in the shade?"

Boundaries were also a part of our core being addressed in this book. I find boundaries really help me survive in life. I'm not so good when I have total freedom. I don't set good limits for myself. So I have come up with some ways to survive with this weakness. My family has had it drilled into their heads and now often times tell others "We are a family of rule followers." It isn't hard to do, just follow the rules that are already set for us. You won't get in trouble often, and if you do, you can't blame anyone but yourself. You know exactly what is expected of you, so you don't have to think so hard about what to do. And oftentimes, people reward good behavior, so you will be praised often enough to fill your cup of self worth. I like it! Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, authors of Boundaries, say two reasons boundaries are important are
1. to distinguish what is my responsibility and what isn't
2. to keep the good in and the bad out.

Another thing listed in this core section is Personal Care. This is a tough one for me sometimes. I love getting totally invested in something, but often times that means letting other things fall to the wayside. And usually the first things to go are bedtime (sleep) and bath time. William Shakespeare once wrote "Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting". Isn't that true? We are much more forgiving of a high maintenance person that someone who seems to have no regard for personal hygiene. Is it because at least we know they care enough about themselves to bath? I don't know. But I do know that in my mean judgemental state, I will judge more the sloth and less the vain.


Okay, so now that this post is so lengthy, I'm going to end with Radic's descriptions of the next 3 sections and I will post more about these in the next few days.
Finesse Knowing what we're capable of: developing FINESSE in the ways we daily interact with our kids.
Circle Knowing who we can count on: interacting within a CIRCLE of relationships that support us and our kids.
Grandscape Knowing who God is: engaging with him in his GRANDSCAPE

So many things

Easter Pictures. I can't believe I didn't have someone take a picture of the family with me in it. We all matched nicely. Bummer!!

Crazy hair day at the school and Maggie turned 7.


It seems ages since I've written and when I checked, it has been. November was my last post. Where has time gone? I realized that it's about the time I got L at my house. Having a baby around really throws off my schedule. But I'm loving having him here. Now he's almost 8mths and moves around like crazy. I've also got a 3 mth old now B and her older brothers who I had before for a while. It keeps me hopping.

The only major drawback of babysitting is the lack of being able to participate w/ my own kids classes. But Darrell has stepped up a bit to volunteer for field trips and that takes the edge of guilt off a bit.

So what's currently going on in my life besides the 7 kids (8 if you include Darrell) I'm watching? Well, our MOPS group is really doing well. We're going into our 5th full year. I stepped down from Coordinator (and am more than happy to do so!) and will now assume the Care Team leader. All that's required is know what is going on with all our members and see if anyone needs anything. Perfect! I was told I do that naturally already. Which is probably true since I seem to know more in 4 yrs about these women than some know after a lifetime. What can I say? I'm NOSEY! I got an e-mail from corporate and was asked to do a book review in a few weeks about a new book called Momology A Moms Guide to Shaping Great Kids. I can't wait. I think it will be a great read.

I'm also still going crazy with the knitting! Hats, baby blankets, washcloths, leg warmers, arm guards for bow hunting...you name it, I'm gonna try it!


The sunhats I made Maggie and myself
The sweater I was making. I'll have to get a picture of me wearing it finished. I love it! I'm going to make myself another one.

Arlington is turning 9!!!!! tomorrow. I can't believe it. It's a sure sign I'm getting old!

Favorite Gabe and the Surgery Quote

I totally forgot my favorite thing about this whole surgery and Gabe.

So we'd all been talking to Gabe about what was going to be happening during the surgery and what he needed to expect. I told him he'd go to sleep after breathing in medicine and then they'd just pull out the tonsils and take out the adenoids and he'd feel a little cruddy for a bit and everything would be better. He talked to his preschool teachers about it and must have asked how they'd get 'em out and they said they go in through his mouth.

So Gabe comes home and asks me "How are they gonna get that small??" He thought the Drs would shrink. Which of course makes me think of Willy Wonka's TV machine. LOL. Gabe told me after the surgery that little mice crawled in and got it all out.

really? Am I that bad?

So it seems I didn't let ANYONE know about Gabe's surgery. Maybe I am a chicken w/ my head cut off. I swear if it wasn't attached I'd loose my head. I've been so disorganized lately and I'm just keeping my head low and plugging along.

Gabe has had long standing issues w/ hearing and liquid behind his ear drums which caused a lack of vibrations in his ear drums. So after years of trying to figure it out w/ hearing tests, allergy tests, etc. we visited and ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) specialist and they said his tonsils were awful and his adenoids most likely so swollen that his ears couldn't drain like they're supposed to. So the surgery was scheduled this July or August and yesterday we had it.

I had heard it would be 4 hrs before surgery of pre-prep work, 45 mins for the surgery and then 4 hrs in recovery. We'll we woke up at 5:30 and Gabe wanted to know why we were getting up at night for his surgery when I told him it was a morning surgery. LOL. Mom came and picked me up at 6 and we were at the hospital at 7. They filled out some charts and he was taken in around 8:15 for the anesthesiologist to do her thing. He was in surgery by 9 am and we left before 11:30. It was nutty. He did great! He wasn't nervous. He asked everyone if he could keep his scrubs but the answer was always no. He did get to keep his cap and slippers. He also got a blood pressure cuff that works! It's so cool. He got his mask that helped him "fall asleep". He got his wrap that they covered his IV needle. I felt like we took home a mini hospital!

Today he's doing amazingly well. He's wanting to eat and move about. He's just taking tylenol and antibiotics. He's pretty chipper too. A little pale, but I can't imagine not being after your body's been through that much. Here are some pics of the event.

Modeling the yellow cap, slippers and scrubs. Loading into the chair to head for the anesthesiologist.



Waking up was kind of difficult. He was exhausted. But got to sit on my lap in the 2nd recovery room. He had to stay in the bed in the first recovery room.


Eating the popsicles. We were almost ready to go by this time. You can see much more color in his face and pep in his eyes can't you.



Arlington is going in for an evaluation on Friday. We know his tonsils are fine, but his adenoids could possibly be part of the issues with his asthma and snoring. We'll see. I might have some pics soon of Arlington after surgery.